Every day across the United States, thousands of professionals experience bereavement. Many individuals may go through multiple personal losses while at one employer. How we show up for and support employees matters, and bereavement and grief are no exception.
When my brother died unexpectedly two years ago, I had hundreds of thoughts go through my head as I navigated next steps. Big decisions were being made daily, and my family and I were overwhelmed by the gravity of our loss. I struggled with the very real thought of: what am I going to do about work? I didn’t know how I would navigate being back to work soon after his death, but what I did know was that my priorities had shifted and I had more on my mind than before my loss. Luckily, my employer understood this and helped me adjust my work priorities so that I could ease back into my tasks, and my grief was well understood and supported by my colleagues.
Not every workplace is as considerate, and many do not offer bereavement leave or paid time off for funeral attendance. In the United States, the Fair Labor Standards Act does not require a standard of time off, and bereavement leave is generally left up to the individual employer. While that may leave some employers confused about what to offer, it also gives employers the opportunity to create a plan that supports the needs of their unique workforce and creates a work environment that creates space for grief. In addition to paid time off, employers can show up for their grieving team member in several different ways. The following list identifies just a few tips for supporting a grieving employee.
Directly After a Loss:
- Find out from the employee what they are comfortable with their coworkers knowing about their loss and share with the team as appropriate.
- Extend your condolences and those of the team. If the team is interested, send a care basket, food, or flowers to show support.
- Research the company’s bereavement policies and share those with the employee.
- Look at the employee’s task list or work plan. Discuss with them any immediate tasks they would like removed from their plate, and reassign them, when possible.
- Reach out to HR about administrative tasks that may be missed while the employee is out (payroll/time entry, requests for leave, etc.) and complete those tasks, as needed.
During the First 6-12 Months:
- If you don’t already have a regular check-in with your employee, schedule one. This is a good time to not only check in on their work, but also how they are personally doing and learn if they need any additional support.
- Allow for flexible work hours for therapy or other services that support the employee through their grief.
- Make a note of the death anniversaries, and check in with the employee and offer extra support during that time.
- Remind them of the resources available to them (at the workplace and beyond) regularly.
Beyond the First Year or Anytime:
- If they are comfortable with it, ask about the person your employee lost. This is an opportunity to learn more about your employee and the loved one who meant so much to them. This touch of empathy and connection can go a long way in helping your employee feel supported and heard.
- If your organization has regular education or development opportunities, like lunch and learns or external speakers, bring in someone to talk about grief and open the conversation among your employees. Others may have their own experiences that they have never shared with the team.
- Advocate for better bereavement policies in your workplace and nationwide.
Like company policies, bereavement and grief vary for each individual. Creating policies that cover multiple types of losses and offer wide support is a great way to ensure that your employees feel supported during their darkest days.
